Sitting here thinking about Amy Winehouse and how we celebrate life after death. Why is it that is takes for you to DIE for people to understand you? What the french toast....its very shocking to me. I'm sure there is much left untold...compassion, acceptance and judgement swirl in the headlines....it's SAD yo!
any form of addiction can get the best of you, as none of us are exempt from the fleshy human temptress of life.
i.just.don't.know
teaks
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Another Side of Me
I think I am in a bit of a rut with the way I feel about people, places and things. Sure, its a broad statement and I'm not up to revealing what I mean just yet. This woman that has come out of me over the last few weeks is new to me. I have been traveling, dating and thinking (probably way to much) with no reason behind it. Why does that seem odd you ask? Because Teaks is a planner, BIG TIME....she ain't doing nothing without a plan, lol. I guess that came with the "back in da day" me, because this woman now is on a rampage. Losing weight and the energy is there without having to think about life and love step-by-step. I'm starting to think that maybe that was the cause of a few of the short comings I've had, especially with love. Who does that....Plan love? Was that really me, did I actually take time out to think about how love should be given or received from a man. I know exactly why I use to believe or think in this way, and if you really know me then you will have a clue of what it meant for me to "plan" love.
Otherwise, what I have been feeling is the real deal and I'm so excited about how I have taken the time to realize that I was so wrong. Rules and guidelines on when to love is HOSH-POSH, lol. Don't laugh, lol...shucks its literally silly but I will give myself credit and say that I'm sure there was no ill intentions while stuck in my ignorance.
Now I'm thinking that my time in this "life-force" can be a lot more full-filling, like the feeling that you get in the bottom of your tummy that hurts good. :) . I'm growing and introducing myself to the NOW me, and I think she was always in there. Just had no way of escaping this detailed web of planned life I made for myself. I'm happy to see this side of me, because it allows me to the best me and I hope I stay around for a while so that I can get to know me better.
whole.
Teaks
Otherwise, what I have been feeling is the real deal and I'm so excited about how I have taken the time to realize that I was so wrong. Rules and guidelines on when to love is HOSH-POSH, lol. Don't laugh, lol...shucks its literally silly but I will give myself credit and say that I'm sure there was no ill intentions while stuck in my ignorance.
Now I'm thinking that my time in this "life-force" can be a lot more full-filling, like the feeling that you get in the bottom of your tummy that hurts good. :) . I'm growing and introducing myself to the NOW me, and I think she was always in there. Just had no way of escaping this detailed web of planned life I made for myself. I'm happy to see this side of me, because it allows me to the best me and I hope I stay around for a while so that I can get to know me better.
whole.
Teaks
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)